Tides of War
by kyphe97
Summary: A gift or a curse? She never wanted to be a hero, but as realization sets in that it's her final year at Hogwarts, with a war quickly plunging the world into chaos, Mona Shaw is forced to make a decision. Regulus/OC/Sirius -M for a reason- violence, adult themes, language (UNDERGOING REVISION)
1. Chapter 1

_September 1st, 1971_

_It was deafening. The station was crowded with bodies, families unwilling to part with their children. It was nearly impossible to navigate if you had not experienced something like this before._

_And Desdemona Shaw had never experienced anything like this. She was a petite girl, with a slim, heart-shaped face. Her nose was rather pointed and her ocean blue eyes a bit too wide. Her short, golden blonde curls bobbed as she tried to keep up with her father's long stride, her gloved hand gripping her brother's._

_He glanced over his shoulder and smiled at her. Despite being twins, they really looked nothing alike. Where Desdemona had clearly taken after her mother, Cassius Shaw had inherited their father's dark, strong features. Even at eleven, Cassius' shoulders were broad; his facial features, though still boyish, had begun to define themselves. His sister was sure he would be a heartbreaker. She was not so sure of this for herself._

_"You look worried." Cassius said to her once they had been permitted to slow down, approaching the first set of train cars._

_"I'm not." She lied, trying to keep her voice steady. Desdemona felt hot in her robes all of a sudden and reached up to wipe her face. There were too many people. They kept bumping into her._

_"It'll be fine. We'll be sorted into the same House, and you'll never have to worry. I'll always protect you."_

_For a moment she simply stared at her brother, trying to believe it. She knew without a doubt he would be there for her, but how could he guarantee anything else? For once, his words didn't make her feel any better._

_At the sound of the final train whistle before departure, Desdemona and Cassius bid their parents one last goodbye before rushing into the train. Most of the compartments had been taken by then, and Desdemona felt her paranoia begin to rise again._

_"Are you saving these seats for anyone?"_

_Desdemona held her brother's hand tighter as she peered at the group of kids before her. Three boys, all very clearly different and unrelated to each other, and a girl, whose hair was a brilliant shade of red. However it wasn't the people that struck her as the problem. The atmosphere was tense. The redhead girl and the boy with flat, shiny black hair sat across from the pair of boys looking distinctly unhappy._

_Clearly no one was changing seats._

_"Go ahead. We were actually just discussing our future Houses." The blackhaired boy with round spectacles said with a smirk, his gaze traveling from her brother to the glowering boy across from him._

_"How about it then?" The other boy asked. Desdemona stared at him and then at the empty seat beside him, deciding stupidly that that was where she wanted to sit. She shuffled inside behind her brother, trying to hide her disappointment as he took her seat. Desdemona grudgingly sat beside the redhead, trying her best to sit as close to the wall as possible._

_"Gryffindor probably, or perhaps Ravenclaw." Cassius answered thoughtfully, crossing his arms over his chest. "My father was a Slytherin."_

_Everyone stared at Cassius, each of them trying to figure out a way to respond to that._

_"Wouldn't he want you in Slytherin then?"_

_The spectacled boy said, raising an eyebrow. "Are you a pureblood?"_

_"No. And also no." Cassius smiled. "Our mother is a muggle." At that, he gestured to where Desdemona sat and she shrank a little, wishing he hadn't drawn their otherwise clearly occupied attention._

_"I'm Cassius Shaw, and that's my sister Desdemona. Fraternal twins."_

_"How about you, then?" The other boy asked, giving her a once over. His eyes were intense, like storm clouds. Desdemona felt her mouth go dry._

_"Probably the sa—"_

_"You already answered." The boy said dismissively, waving his hand over his shoulder._

_"Gryffindor or Ravenclaw," she parroted at a near whisper, "perhaps Slytherin."_

_The boys burst into laughter almost immediately, startling Desdemona upright from her slouched position, her eyes impossibly wider. Cassius met her gaze and shrugged, his expression a mirror image of her own confusion._

_"She's going to be in Hufflepuff!" The spectacled boy gasped in between his bouts of laughter. He glanced at Cassius and shrugged, wiping at his eyes. He held out his hand. "Don't know about you though, mate. I'm James, by the way. James Potter."_

_Cassius shook his hand briefly, acknowledging it with a nod. The boy beside him didn't offer his hand. He merely stretched further down the seat, kicking his feet up in the space between the redhead and his sister. "Sirius Black."_

_"And these two are Severus Snape and Lily Evans." James said, his eyes flitting briefly to the redhead before darting away._

_"I can introduce myself, Potter." Lily Evans snapped, her emerald eyes seething._

_"There's too many potential snakes in here." Sirius whined suddenly, though his expression borderlined playful. If it were possible, the expression on Severus Snape's face darkened._

_"Don't count yourself out, mate." James Potter reminded him. "Traditionally speaking, your entire family is a snake pit."_

_At that, Sirius's expression soured. Desdemona tried to remember what her father had taught her about the old pureblood families and came up mostly short. She now regretted never paying attention._

_"I'm going to be in Gryffindor." He said sharply, glaring at James._

_"What's wrong with Slytherin?" Desdemona blurted, immediately looking down when Sirius had turned his glare on her. Cassius tensed beside him._

_"Nothing I suppose, if you don't ignore the fact that nearly every witch or wizard in Slytherin is evil."_

_"I'm leaving!" Lily interrupted hotly, standing up and grabbing her things, looking back at Severus expectantly. He jumped up to follow her, sparing them all one last withering glare before slamming the compartment door shut behind them._

_Cassius stood and moved to sit beside his sister, and James and Sirius watched, bewildered, as she instantly shifted away from the wall towards him, leaning against his shoulder. They glanced at each other, then resigned themselves to a quiet conversation._

* * *

_If King's Cross had made her feel small, Hogwarts made her feel practically invisible. She stood within the organized horde of first years, gripping her brother as she stared apprehensively at the Sorting Hat. What if they didn't get sorted into the same House? What would she do?_

_Students were called up one by one, Professor McGonagall listing them alphabetically. Each student looked just as nervous as the other, for the most part. Some strutted confidently towards the Hat, like James Potter and Sirius Black._

_Cassius was called first, and as he walked through the remaining first years, Desdemona saw his fists tighten at his sides, his dark brown eyes shining with a kind of determination she couldn't recall seeing on him. He slid onto the stool, unflinching at the Hat was placed upon his head. It felt like centuries before it finally cried out its decision._

_"SLYTHERIN!"_

_Cassius's gaze met hers through the crowd, sparing her a nod before he ducked towards the Slytherin table, quietly cheering and clapping for the new addition._

_"Shaw, Desdemona."_

_It suddenly felt as if the entire world turned to look at her. Her joints felt cold and stiff, but she forced one foot in front of the other, robotically climbing the few steps up the stool. She climbed up and seated herself, smoothing out her skirt as she stared straight ahead, squeaking when a voice rang through her mind._

_"Interesting..." The Hat said slyly, it's voice deep and echoing in her mind. "A gift and a curse… a great power in the right hands. But where to put you?"_

_Desdemona wanted to hide. Everything about her, everything she had ever felt or experienced, this hat knew about it. It was reading her every thought, every fear, reading who she really was in the depths of her soul. Who did she want to be?_

_"GRYFFINDOR!"_


	2. Chapter 2

_She didn't know where she was. It was dark; too dark to see. If she didn't already know for a fact that her eyes were open, she would've thought they were closed. It was as though she had been swallowed up by a blackhole. Her body felt cold like ice and she shivered instinctively, hugging herself as she put one foot in front of the other, hoping movement might reveal her whereabouts. _

"_You said you'd protect me!"_

_A sharp cry echoed around her, ringing in her ears and forcing her heart into a frenzied sprint as fear coursed through her. Everything was still pitch black, but she no longer felt alone. She quickened her pace, the floor she couldn't see beneath her feet slick. Her stomach turned as her mind raced through all of the possibilities. Her chest felt tight. It was becoming harder to breathe as panic seized her lungs, gripping so tightly she was forced to stop, doubling over as she gasped. Her eyes stung, and she felt hot tears streaming down her face._

_She was spiralling. Colors swirled around her-everything was suddenly too bright, disorienting as she was slammed out of the abyss that had trapped her into a wildly different scene. She was home, but wasn't. There were no signs that anyone had lived there, possibly for years. The air was stale and thick with dust. It was completely empty, every piece of furniture missing. _

"_You lied to me!"_

_That same sharp cry struck her with the force of a full-speed train, making her fall to her knees, clutching her chest. When she looked at the floor again, it was blood red. She screamed, and the void swallowed her whole again._

"Shaw!" She was shaking-no, she was being shaken.

Slowly, and with more difficulty than she thought possible, she opened her eyes. Her vision was blurry, but filled with red. Instantly her heart lurched and she shot up, nearly knocking heads with whoever had shaken her awake.

"Don't touch me!" She shrieked, scrambling away and falling off the edge of her bed, tumbling to the floor. She groaned as the pounding in her head doubled and sat up, leaning against her bed and hugging her legs to her chest, her shoulders shaking as she sobbed quietly. _It was just a dream, _she thought to herself, trying to ignore the tightness in her chest.

"Merlin-are you okay? I didn't mean-"

Evans. "N-no, I-just give me a second."

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. It had only been a dream. It hadn't been a vision. "I'm fine." She whispered, gripping the edge of her bed as she slowly pulled herself to her feet, hastily scrubbing the tears from her eyes and sitting herself on the edge of her bed. She looked around the room, taking inventory of her surroundings. Her roommates were watching her warily, as though she had suddenly sprouted an extra head.

"Are you sure?" Lily Evans asked tentatively, her green eyes bright with concern.

"Quite." She sighed, rubbing her temples.

A brief, uncomfortable silence followed. "You were screaming. We were on our way to breakfast before-"

"I'm fine!" She snapped, glaring at the redheaded girl. Evans frowned and stepped back, clearly putout.

"I'm fine." She said again, quieter this time, as though trying to reassure herself. She pushed her hands through her short blonde curls and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees as she continued to breathe.

_The facts, _she thought to herself. _Fact one, that wasn't a vision. Fact two, Lily touched me. Fact three, nothing had happened. _She took another deep breath and then stood, turning to look at her roommates.

Lily Evans had returned to her morning routine, collecting her books and gathering her long crimson hair into a ponytail at the top of her head. Potions was her first class of the day. She knew that because it happened to be one of the few classes they shared together. As Desdemona slowly began to ready herself for what would inevitably be a very long day, her mind drifted. She could hardly recall her first few years at Hogwarts. They had gone by in a dull blur of studying and loneliness. Her only reprieve from her thoughts had always been her brother.

Six years had passed since they had been sorted into different Houses. Mona remembered the fear that had nearly made her freeze in place, unable to move towards the students whooping for her. At first it was horrible, but she'd adjusted quickly. The only problem was her nightmares. She didn't have them all the time, but they were still frequent enough to be a thorn in her side. Lily Evans asked the most questions, though she unfortunately did not keep the most distance.

Desdemona had always thought to herself that, perhaps in another life, she and Lily Evans would have been best friends. As it were, however, Desdemona couldn't have friends. She had Cassius. For now, as it had always been, it would be enough.

* * *

"You look positively dreadful."

"I didn't get a lot of sleep last night." Desdemona muttered, glaring at the bowl in front of her, half eaten and very unappealing goop, otherwise known as oatmeal. She heard Cassius sigh beside her and turn, nudging her shoulder until she finally turned her glare on him. His sympathetic look just made her even more upset.

"I bet you haven't been practicing."

Desdemona bristled, drawing her chest up indignantly as she pushed her breakfast aside. "I do, but it's kinda hard when the only person who could possibly help me is in another House."

"I've told you before-"

"How many people would hex you before you even walked through the door?" She snapped, crossing her arms over her chest. "You can't be in the Gryffindor Tower. I've never heard of any other Houses stepping foot into another common room than their own."

"To Hell with them all." Cassius argued, returning her glare. "You're my sister, first of all. And secondly, I don't associate with anyone in Slytherin. You know perfectly well that I don't belong there."

Did she though? Plenty of times she'd seen her brother talking with them, laughing occasionally. She envied him. Of course he was allowed to socialize and make friends. He had nothing holding him back. He was painfully normal and a part of her hated him for it. He made it all sound so easy to deal with. He had no idea what she went through.

"Then we need to figure something out." She said, her anger suddenly fizzling out. "I'm _tired, _Cassius."

She felt his arm around her waist, and she allowed him to pull her into his embrace, burying her face in his shoulder. "We will." He said quietly into her ear. "Meet me after dinner."

She pulled back, eyeing him warily. "What are you planning?"

"Just listen to me for once, okay? Do you trust me still?"

She stared at him for a moment before he nodded. He offered her a dazzling smile and gathered his things, kissing the top of her head as he rose from his seat.


End file.
